A Thought on the What Matters Most

Every once in a while, life puts us in circumstances that force us to reflect on our own mortality. We think on those things which mean the most to us. I always find it interesting that more often than not these thoughts almost always focus on the people in our lives. Well, perhaps not necessarily in our lives, but those who have touched our lives, whether they are still with us or not. Sometimes they are good memories; Christmases, birthdays, or other holidays, dinners, parties, and celebrations, quiet moments spent in a warm embrace, or long philosophical talks on the problems or the world. Sometimes they are just memories of singing at the top of your lungs on a long car ride with someone. Other times they are thoughts of regret; missed opportunities or connections, loss, grief, or thoughts of “what could have been.” But even these moments give us insight into ourselves and who we’ve become. They are a testament to the lives that we’ve built. They offer sufficient proof that we cared enough about something or someone to love and miss them. And that is a beautiful thing.

It is in these moments of thorough introspection that we reflect on the times which have had the most impact upon our hearts, our minds, and on who we’ve become as a person. When I reflect on the memories which matter most to me, I realize that in the moment they were created, I almost always failed to appreciate how much they would matter to me down the road. Of all the expensive vacations, the adrenaline filled adventures, the fun filled parties, or the thrilling nights on the town, the moments that stick with me are the quiet times when I truly connected with someone. Sometimes it is these unobtrusive, seemingly ordinary events that have the largest impact upon us, and most of the time we don’t even realize it at the time. I guess what I’m getting at is this: life is not about making the most money, or having the coolest, most expensive things, it isn’t about the dream job, or the house on a hill, most of the time it’s not even about impacting the world. Life is about loving people. It’s about embracing them and connecting with them. It’s about engaging them. It’s about creating memories. Make time for those people in your life. Make time for those tiny, little moments that you may not think matter, because I guarantee you that they will someday, and more often than not, that realization comes too late.  We are all granted a very finite amount of time on this earth and few, if any, of us know just how long that time is. Just recognize that and embrace those people who matter the most, whoever they are. And don’t forget to tell them how you feel about them. We all forget to do that far too often. And it truly matters. Trust me on that one.

What Matters Most

A Thought on When the World Seems Dark

Regret is the mourning of the loss of possibility. But our deepest regrets come when we are forced by time or circumstance to give up on something or perhaps someone we love when every fiber of our being tells us that this is the fight worth fighting. Perhaps these moments are the ones meant to try us. Perhaps they are meant to teach us. Perhaps they are meant to inspire us to grow. Regardless of their purpose they are the times when the world seems so colorless so dark, and so devoid of hope. But I promise you that light still remains. It is constantly emitted from the embers of our souls, and that light, no matter how dark the world becomes, can never go out. Take comfort in knowing that no matter how hard the moment may seem, you are strong enough to bear the burdens that you have been called to bear. You are where you are meant to be. Each life has a purpose and is precious. Every soul will find its worth.  You are loved for who you are, who you were, and who you have yet to become.

A Thought on the Superhero

Ever wonder why we all love superhero movies? I think it’s because superhero movies remind us of how we wish we could be. In most movies they have a weakness that they must over come, and that's what makes them so great. They remind us that if we try hard enough, if we stand for what’s good, if we endure and fight with every fiber of our being for what’s right, then maybe we can overcome our weaknesses and then change the world.  

Sometimes we humans need something to hang on to. Sometimes we need a symbol to rally around or a cause to support. Sometimes we need something to place our faith in, something to hope for, something to hope in. And sometimes, we have to be that hope for someone else. Sometimes we have to face our fears and throw off the darkness that enshrouds us so that our own inner light can shine forth and be the beacon that points the direction for others. And as scary as that is, as hard as that may be, sometimes that’s what is required of us. Sometimes that is what we are meant to do. Sometimes that’s our destiny. Sometimes we can be the superhero just by inspiring those around us. So if there’s someone in your life that needs that hope, be that beacon for them. Show them what’s right. Inspire them! Be their hope, because if you won’t who else do they have?

A Thought on the People in Our Lives

I ran across a few quotes this evening that got me thinking. Judy Garland once said "Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else." And while I think there’s some truth to that, I think we also have to acknowledge the profound impact those in our lives have on who we are. And that brings me to the second quote. This one is by Flavia Weedn. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

We may be the sum total of our experiences, but a huge ingredient to that whole package is who we choose to associate with. As I get older and more and more people come into my life, and some leave, this becomes all the more apparent. For example, our value systems, our beliefs, even our prejudices are defined or at least influenced by our friends and family. The same goes for our language, culture, and the food we eat. We even pick up catch phrases and mannerisms from our loved ones.  We become a melting pot of what we deem to be the greatest qualities of those in our lives in order to become the best version of who we want to be. That is the purpose of our loved ones: to help us grow.

There was someone who was in my life for a while and then, sadly, had to leave. And I’m still coming to terms with that. I’ve wished, and hoped, and prayed to find my way back to her but sometimes people just aren’t meant to stay in our lives. At first I tried to cut out all the experiences and memories we had made together, and while that helped with the sadness, all the happiness was gone to. And the happiness far outweighed the sadness. The bottom line is, that that wasn’t the right way to do it. Instead, I’ve become thankful for all those times and I’ve come to realize that she helped me become who I am today. I’ve always hated change, but I suppose that is what life is about; growth, and change. And when you get right down to it, that is a beautiful thing.

A Thought on the Good

What if I told you that everything is going to be ok? What if I told you that in spite of your fears, your doubts, and you worries, everything was going to work out? What if I told you that you will get through the trials you face? Because the truth is, you will. Everything is going to be ok.  That I promise you.

There are no guarantees in this life except this: it goes on. No one makes it through without scrapes and bruises and some of us wind up with some pretty traumatic injuries, but that’s ok. It’s just a part of living, of being alive. That is the price of experiencing what it’s like to live on this earth, to feel all of the joy and the happiness, all of the love and the hope and yes every once in a while, the pain and sorrow. And it’s such a small price to pay!

Whatever trials you facing, I promise you this: they are only temporary. They won’t last forever. In the end, good always wins out. The light will always triumph over the darkness, love will always defeat hate, and freedom will always overcome oppression. A lot of people see the world as a dark and dreary place, filled with poverty, and violence, and hate. But in reality, the world is a place filled with hope. The human race’s propensity for good is so incredibly immense compared to the bad. Even in the darkest, dreariest moments of our history, we find examples of good, honest people doing what’s right simply because it’s the right thing to do, with no though or expectation of reward. Take solace in that fact. Take solace in the fact that we live in a world where absolutely anything is possible. Take solace in the fact that you are a good person. Take solace in the face that tomorrow is a new day, free from the worries and cares of today. I know your weary and downtrodden, and that’s ok. Rest up this night and rise again tomorrow. A new dawn, filled with hope, beckons. Rest easy.

A Thought on Evil

One of the greatest philosophical battles of all time centers on the belief in a good and just God in the context of all the evil that exists in this world. In every day life, this problem manifests itself in questions like "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" or "Why does God hate me?" Thousands of philosophers, theists, believers, atheists and everyday folk have argued over this question for as long as man has doubted the belief in a higher power. Most of the arguments for God center on a belief in free will or that God allows evil to exist because without evil good could not exist. Other arguments deny a belief in true evil or say that perhaps God is not able to create a world where no evil existed. While I tend to support the Free Will defense, I have decided that I believe in an alternative view. Perhaps its not evil that matters so much, but rather our reaction to it.

The power that evil possesses is a product of the fear that we as humans exhibit. When we rise above the fear, evil loses its power. That’s not to discount pain, and suffering, anguish, and grief, agony, and sorrow, because surely these things exist. We have all experienced them in one way or another. But rather the point is to recognize that these feelings are simply emotions and tactile reactions to a hostile world. When we remember that, they can be endured, overcome. We can rise above the pain. We are strengthened, lifted up. We can fly free, even in captivity. When we reach the point that we can exhibit selfless, celestial grace unfeigned, when we can forgive without thought to retribution, revenge or compensation, when we can let go of our hatred and our selfish, misguided sense of justice, when we can exhibit the tender mercy of God through our every thought and action, then evil ceases to matter and the battle is won. I think that’s the point that most people in this debate miss. Evil is not an end in itself, but rather a challenge to be overcome.

A Thought on Attitude

Each of us will face difficulties in our life. We will have trials and obstacles to overcome. We will experience defeat and we will suffer and bleed and eventually die. We will feel pain and sadness, misery and sorrow. We will lose loved ones and experience loss and grief. Very few of us are immune to the evils of this world, but as certain as I am that we will face these challenges, I am equally as certain that we are naturally endowed with the strength to overcome them. One of the tools that we are provided with for this task is the ability to control our attitude and how we react to whatever life throws at us.

 One of our tasks as individuals is to make meaning in our own lives. No one else can do that for us. And while I believe we are the product of our experiences, we are also defined in part by our reactions to those experiences in the first place. For example, a basketball player may attend grueling practices every day in preparation for a game. His coach may push him and make him run and do all sorts of painful exercises, hoping to strengthen him. The player may work hard, and at the end of each practice be so sore that he can hardly move. An outsider who doesn’t’ understand why the player does this might say “This is horrible. He’s in pain! This is torture. That coach should be imprisoned for inflicting such evil on that poor soul!”While the basketball player understands why he is being pushed and accepts that if he endures these hardships, he will do better in the game to come.

 Perhaps no better definition of this principal exists than that penned by Viktor Frankl:

“We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of his freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

 And so it is with life. If we believe that the hardships we face are designed to make us better individuals, then the evils we face are diminished, until such as time as we don’t see them as evil anymore, but rather trials and exercises in faith. So the next time challenges are on your horizon, see them for what they truly are: opportunities to grow. Go out and meet them head on. Embrace them with a thankful heart and a determination worthy of the champion inside of you! Good luck!