A Thought on Living Without Fear

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt

 It is said that of all the words in all the tongues of men, that saddest are those of “it might have been.” Often times in life, our fear of what could happen or how we could fail overcomes our desire to progress and we are left utterly paralyzed in inaction. As we watch the world pass us by, we utter a wish for more courage and bravery. But there must come a moment when we rise above our fear. We must make our wish reality. We must cast off the chains of self doubt and worry and rise toward the light so that we may have our day in the sun.

The greatest enemy we will ever face is that voice inside each of us that tells us that we will never be good enough. It tells us that we are weak and unworthy of achieving that which we desire. I tell you here and now that that voice lies. The greatest gift that God has given us is the free will and the ability to choose who we are and who we will become. Each and every day that we rise we are faced with a choice: do we cower and live in fear while our lives pass us by, or do we dare greatly, pursuing the dreams that we hold so dear? Even if we fail, we fail with the knowledge that we tried, that we gave our very best, and that at the very least we made a valiant effort toward a goal worth fighting for. Even in that failure, there is experience gained. Even in that failure, hope, the greatest and most essential of all human conditions, remains. And with that hope, remains the possibility of redemption.

My friends, we have but one life to live. May we live it well, without regret or fear. May we live it in such a way that at the end, when we stand before the Almighty and are asked to account for our time here on this earth, we can reply that we lived each moment with the courage to pursue the desires of our hearts, that we held on to the hope of a better tomorrow, and that we sought the goodness in the world. May we say that we lived our lives intentionally and with purpose.

A Thought on When the World Seems Dark

Regret is the mourning of the loss of possibility. But our deepest regrets come when we are forced by time or circumstance to give up on something or perhaps someone we love when every fiber of our being tells us that this is the fight worth fighting. Perhaps these moments are the ones meant to try us. Perhaps they are meant to teach us. Perhaps they are meant to inspire us to grow. Regardless of their purpose they are the times when the world seems so colorless so dark, and so devoid of hope. But I promise you that light still remains. It is constantly emitted from the embers of our souls, and that light, no matter how dark the world becomes, can never go out. Take comfort in knowing that no matter how hard the moment may seem, you are strong enough to bear the burdens that you have been called to bear. You are where you are meant to be. Each life has a purpose and is precious. Every soul will find its worth.  You are loved for who you are, who you were, and who you have yet to become.

A Thought on the People in Our Lives

I ran across a few quotes this evening that got me thinking. Judy Garland once said "Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else." And while I think there’s some truth to that, I think we also have to acknowledge the profound impact those in our lives have on who we are. And that brings me to the second quote. This one is by Flavia Weedn. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

We may be the sum total of our experiences, but a huge ingredient to that whole package is who we choose to associate with. As I get older and more and more people come into my life, and some leave, this becomes all the more apparent. For example, our value systems, our beliefs, even our prejudices are defined or at least influenced by our friends and family. The same goes for our language, culture, and the food we eat. We even pick up catch phrases and mannerisms from our loved ones.  We become a melting pot of what we deem to be the greatest qualities of those in our lives in order to become the best version of who we want to be. That is the purpose of our loved ones: to help us grow.

There was someone who was in my life for a while and then, sadly, had to leave. And I’m still coming to terms with that. I’ve wished, and hoped, and prayed to find my way back to her but sometimes people just aren’t meant to stay in our lives. At first I tried to cut out all the experiences and memories we had made together, and while that helped with the sadness, all the happiness was gone to. And the happiness far outweighed the sadness. The bottom line is, that that wasn’t the right way to do it. Instead, I’ve become thankful for all those times and I’ve come to realize that she helped me become who I am today. I’ve always hated change, but I suppose that is what life is about; growth, and change. And when you get right down to it, that is a beautiful thing.

A Thought on the Good

What if I told you that everything is going to be ok? What if I told you that in spite of your fears, your doubts, and you worries, everything was going to work out? What if I told you that you will get through the trials you face? Because the truth is, you will. Everything is going to be ok.  That I promise you.

There are no guarantees in this life except this: it goes on. No one makes it through without scrapes and bruises and some of us wind up with some pretty traumatic injuries, but that’s ok. It’s just a part of living, of being alive. That is the price of experiencing what it’s like to live on this earth, to feel all of the joy and the happiness, all of the love and the hope and yes every once in a while, the pain and sorrow. And it’s such a small price to pay!

Whatever trials you facing, I promise you this: they are only temporary. They won’t last forever. In the end, good always wins out. The light will always triumph over the darkness, love will always defeat hate, and freedom will always overcome oppression. A lot of people see the world as a dark and dreary place, filled with poverty, and violence, and hate. But in reality, the world is a place filled with hope. The human race’s propensity for good is so incredibly immense compared to the bad. Even in the darkest, dreariest moments of our history, we find examples of good, honest people doing what’s right simply because it’s the right thing to do, with no though or expectation of reward. Take solace in that fact. Take solace in the fact that we live in a world where absolutely anything is possible. Take solace in the fact that you are a good person. Take solace in the face that tomorrow is a new day, free from the worries and cares of today. I know your weary and downtrodden, and that’s ok. Rest up this night and rise again tomorrow. A new dawn, filled with hope, beckons. Rest easy.

A Thought on Evil

One of the greatest philosophical battles of all time centers on the belief in a good and just God in the context of all the evil that exists in this world. In every day life, this problem manifests itself in questions like "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" or "Why does God hate me?" Thousands of philosophers, theists, believers, atheists and everyday folk have argued over this question for as long as man has doubted the belief in a higher power. Most of the arguments for God center on a belief in free will or that God allows evil to exist because without evil good could not exist. Other arguments deny a belief in true evil or say that perhaps God is not able to create a world where no evil existed. While I tend to support the Free Will defense, I have decided that I believe in an alternative view. Perhaps its not evil that matters so much, but rather our reaction to it.

The power that evil possesses is a product of the fear that we as humans exhibit. When we rise above the fear, evil loses its power. That’s not to discount pain, and suffering, anguish, and grief, agony, and sorrow, because surely these things exist. We have all experienced them in one way or another. But rather the point is to recognize that these feelings are simply emotions and tactile reactions to a hostile world. When we remember that, they can be endured, overcome. We can rise above the pain. We are strengthened, lifted up. We can fly free, even in captivity. When we reach the point that we can exhibit selfless, celestial grace unfeigned, when we can forgive without thought to retribution, revenge or compensation, when we can let go of our hatred and our selfish, misguided sense of justice, when we can exhibit the tender mercy of God through our every thought and action, then evil ceases to matter and the battle is won. I think that’s the point that most people in this debate miss. Evil is not an end in itself, but rather a challenge to be overcome.

A Thought on Attitude

Each of us will face difficulties in our life. We will have trials and obstacles to overcome. We will experience defeat and we will suffer and bleed and eventually die. We will feel pain and sadness, misery and sorrow. We will lose loved ones and experience loss and grief. Very few of us are immune to the evils of this world, but as certain as I am that we will face these challenges, I am equally as certain that we are naturally endowed with the strength to overcome them. One of the tools that we are provided with for this task is the ability to control our attitude and how we react to whatever life throws at us.

 One of our tasks as individuals is to make meaning in our own lives. No one else can do that for us. And while I believe we are the product of our experiences, we are also defined in part by our reactions to those experiences in the first place. For example, a basketball player may attend grueling practices every day in preparation for a game. His coach may push him and make him run and do all sorts of painful exercises, hoping to strengthen him. The player may work hard, and at the end of each practice be so sore that he can hardly move. An outsider who doesn’t’ understand why the player does this might say “This is horrible. He’s in pain! This is torture. That coach should be imprisoned for inflicting such evil on that poor soul!”While the basketball player understands why he is being pushed and accepts that if he endures these hardships, he will do better in the game to come.

 Perhaps no better definition of this principal exists than that penned by Viktor Frankl:

“We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of his freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

 And so it is with life. If we believe that the hardships we face are designed to make us better individuals, then the evils we face are diminished, until such as time as we don’t see them as evil anymore, but rather trials and exercises in faith. So the next time challenges are on your horizon, see them for what they truly are: opportunities to grow. Go out and meet them head on. Embrace them with a thankful heart and a determination worthy of the champion inside of you! Good luck!

A Thought on New Year's.

New Year’s, contrary to what those closest to me think, is actually my favorite holiday. It is a day dedicated to the notion of Hope. Hope. It’s such a simple concept and yet it is at the same time, so complex and so powerful. It is said, that with Hope, all things are possible. I believe in that statement, because at the end of the day, even through Life’s greatest struggles, if we can hold on to Hope, we can endure. We can climb back out of the deepest, darkest places in our lives and rise again, stronger than ever before.

I find it fitting that New Year’s is both a celebration of the New as well as the Old. One cannot exist without the other. As we reflect on our past, we prepare for our future. Just as each practice prepares an athlete for the next competition, each moment in our life prepares us for the next and for all those to come.

 Today is a new day; a day to start things off right, a day to change our stars. But it is also a day to remember those that we’ve lost, and to pay homage to their memories. It is a day to learn from our past mistakes and to reflect on the lessons that life has taught us.  It is a time for us to have a new beginning, a new start, a new and clean slate. It is a time to start over. New Years is a chance for redemption, and that is the greatest gift of all.

 This New Year’s I hope that you remember what this time is about. Take the chance to start over. Take the chance to do good in the world. We need more of it. Be someone’s miracle or dream come true. Grant a wish.  Love someone. Be a light in a world so often filled with despair, and turmoil, and darkness. In the words of John Rzeznik, “Tonight’s the night the world begins again.”  So wherever you find yourself this New Year’s, I wish you a happy and hope filled New Year. May 2013 be better than ever before.

A thought on happiness.

Happiness. Not even the Fountain of Youth, the Holy Grail, or El Dorado is more often sought after. And yet, for some, it seems so elusive. Why is that? Why is it so hard to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm happy?" A lot of people think that we are entitled to happiness, especially here in the United States. I think that might be part of the problem, this sense of entitlement that is. No one ever promised happiness. The only guarantee we've ever been given is that no matter what, we are entitled to the pursuit of happiness. That's an interesting phrase isn't it: the pursuit of happiness? Our forefathers were wise when they first penned those words. I think they realized that happiness is not something freely given, but rather earned and they also realized that some wouldn't be willing to put in the effort to find it. Our country was founded on the belief that hard work and sacrifice is often necessary. Sometimes we have to put things ahead of our own wants and needs. Unfortunately I think that that principal has fallen on deaf ears when it comes to a lot of my own generation. A lot of people also believe that happiness is equal to the amount of money and stuff one can acquire. Realistically, I can say, that I do enjoy being able to go out to dinner, or to go rent a movie, but I don't think that's where true happiness comes from. Those things are just the icing on the proverbial cake. No, I think that true happiness can be found in the sense of purpose and service we find in our lives, in the relationships we enjoy, and in the small, quiet moments away from this loud and crazed world. Some of the happiest people I've known in my life were the quietest, most unimposing people. They been through good times and bad times, they'd lost loved ones, they'd endured hardships, but there were also four qualities that they all exhibited that I think are the true secrets to happiness. First, it seems to me that they'd lost themselves in the service of their fellow man. I guess what I mean is, they'd given up a portion of themselves in order to serve others: their time, money, or effort. Have you ever seen someone doing selfless service for another angrily? It seems almost impossible to me. The second quality that unites them is their family lives. One friend of mine goes home to his wife and dog each night in a small, rundown, one bedroom studio in a crime ridden part of the city. It’s kind of a bleak picture, not one that screams success. But every time he walks in that door, he has a smile on his face. He doesn't have the nicest car, or the latest electronic gadgets, or even a cell phone, but he has a wife who loves him dearly and a dog that thinks he walks on water. That is what makes him happy. Another man that I've always considered one of the happiest men I know is a small, unimposing man that works as a general handyman/plumber. Each day he comes home streaked with sweat, tired, dirty, and worn out, but he knows he's put in a good, honest day and that his wife and children will be waiting for him. He also has never failed to answer the call of those in need. His small, older home is always open to someone who needs a meal, or a place to stay. His heart breaks to see someone in need. He might not be the most successful, or the richest, but he is one of the happiest. The third quality they share is character. By this I mean they have committed themselves to upholding their morals, virtues, and ideals, no matter what. When you make that choice, the rest of life's choices become easy. They have decided to live their lives in such a way that at the end of the day, they can live with themselves. Nothing breeds unhappiness like a troubled conscious. It nags at you on and on until it either destroys you, or you right it. The last quality that they all exhibit is hope. Hope in faith, hope in themselves and their families, and hope in the world. Happy people are not cynics, or pessimists. They see the good in people. Each and every person you meet is fighting his or her own battles and undergoing their own struggles. When you see that, you see who they really are and why they act the way they do. When that happens, you can love them instead of getting angry or upset. So here's what it all boils down to: if you’re feeling unhappy, go find your wife/girlfriend, or your husband/boyfriend, or a sibling, or maybe mom and dad, and just give them a hug. The next time an argument springs up, remind yourself that whatever you’re arguing about probably isn't that important in the long run. Go out and make someone’s life better. Pay for the guy behind you's dinner, hold the door open for someone, stop and pick up the trash that someone left, whatever it is, serve your fellow man. Make up your mind about what you believe and stick to it, no matter what. Always try and make the choice that you can live with. After all, at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself and God. Lastly, try and see the good in the world. Even with all its downfalls, good is out there. Just go out and find it! Try and do these things without a smile, I dare you!

A thought on failure.

One of the questions I always used to find myself asking was "What is my purpose here?" I used to have this plan for my life: where I wanted to be, how my family would turn out, what job I was going to have, even what kind of home I wanted. But I never could get all the pieces to fit together just right. If it wasn't one thing, it was something else. I went from always knowing success to all of a sudden knowing failure, defeat. No matter what I did, something would happen to dash my ambition. Failure. Its an interesting word. Its so negative, so final. I used to say that I'd never fail at anything I really wanted. I've learned that that's not true. In life, we will experience failure. We will be defeated. We will fall, sometimes through no fault of our own. That's just the way life works. But the true test is this: Will we get back up? No failure no matter how devastating and overwhelming is complete if we refuse to give up. I don't know if our destiny or fate is predetermined or not, I don't believe it is, but regardless, we must always retain hope that things will turn out however they are supposed to be. This has been such a hard lesson for me, but I think that perhaps I've finally come to understand it. Keep your hopes alive. Keep dreaming. Keep fighting!