A thought on happiness.

Happiness. Not even the Fountain of Youth, the Holy Grail, or El Dorado is more often sought after. And yet, for some, it seems so elusive. Why is that? Why is it so hard to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm happy?" A lot of people think that we are entitled to happiness, especially here in the United States. I think that might be part of the problem, this sense of entitlement that is. No one ever promised happiness. The only guarantee we've ever been given is that no matter what, we are entitled to the pursuit of happiness. That's an interesting phrase isn't it: the pursuit of happiness? Our forefathers were wise when they first penned those words. I think they realized that happiness is not something freely given, but rather earned and they also realized that some wouldn't be willing to put in the effort to find it. Our country was founded on the belief that hard work and sacrifice is often necessary. Sometimes we have to put things ahead of our own wants and needs. Unfortunately I think that that principal has fallen on deaf ears when it comes to a lot of my own generation. A lot of people also believe that happiness is equal to the amount of money and stuff one can acquire. Realistically, I can say, that I do enjoy being able to go out to dinner, or to go rent a movie, but I don't think that's where true happiness comes from. Those things are just the icing on the proverbial cake. No, I think that true happiness can be found in the sense of purpose and service we find in our lives, in the relationships we enjoy, and in the small, quiet moments away from this loud and crazed world. Some of the happiest people I've known in my life were the quietest, most unimposing people. They been through good times and bad times, they'd lost loved ones, they'd endured hardships, but there were also four qualities that they all exhibited that I think are the true secrets to happiness. First, it seems to me that they'd lost themselves in the service of their fellow man. I guess what I mean is, they'd given up a portion of themselves in order to serve others: their time, money, or effort. Have you ever seen someone doing selfless service for another angrily? It seems almost impossible to me. The second quality that unites them is their family lives. One friend of mine goes home to his wife and dog each night in a small, rundown, one bedroom studio in a crime ridden part of the city. It’s kind of a bleak picture, not one that screams success. But every time he walks in that door, he has a smile on his face. He doesn't have the nicest car, or the latest electronic gadgets, or even a cell phone, but he has a wife who loves him dearly and a dog that thinks he walks on water. That is what makes him happy. Another man that I've always considered one of the happiest men I know is a small, unimposing man that works as a general handyman/plumber. Each day he comes home streaked with sweat, tired, dirty, and worn out, but he knows he's put in a good, honest day and that his wife and children will be waiting for him. He also has never failed to answer the call of those in need. His small, older home is always open to someone who needs a meal, or a place to stay. His heart breaks to see someone in need. He might not be the most successful, or the richest, but he is one of the happiest. The third quality they share is character. By this I mean they have committed themselves to upholding their morals, virtues, and ideals, no matter what. When you make that choice, the rest of life's choices become easy. They have decided to live their lives in such a way that at the end of the day, they can live with themselves. Nothing breeds unhappiness like a troubled conscious. It nags at you on and on until it either destroys you, or you right it. The last quality that they all exhibit is hope. Hope in faith, hope in themselves and their families, and hope in the world. Happy people are not cynics, or pessimists. They see the good in people. Each and every person you meet is fighting his or her own battles and undergoing their own struggles. When you see that, you see who they really are and why they act the way they do. When that happens, you can love them instead of getting angry or upset. So here's what it all boils down to: if you’re feeling unhappy, go find your wife/girlfriend, or your husband/boyfriend, or a sibling, or maybe mom and dad, and just give them a hug. The next time an argument springs up, remind yourself that whatever you’re arguing about probably isn't that important in the long run. Go out and make someone’s life better. Pay for the guy behind you's dinner, hold the door open for someone, stop and pick up the trash that someone left, whatever it is, serve your fellow man. Make up your mind about what you believe and stick to it, no matter what. Always try and make the choice that you can live with. After all, at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself and God. Lastly, try and see the good in the world. Even with all its downfalls, good is out there. Just go out and find it! Try and do these things without a smile, I dare you!