A Thought on Love

This evening I witnessed an older lady helping an older man out of a truck and into a wheelchair. They were both dressed rather nicely. She got a blanket and wrapped him up and gave him a kiss and they went in to a little coffee shop. I couldn't help but think: "Date night." It was so cute. It was a perfect little reminder that true love not only spans into the eternities, but that it can overcome all the hardships of this life: the maladies and infirmities, the jealousy and hate, the pride and contention and anything else mortality can throw at it. But the lesson to be learned from these two is this: lasting love is always a choice. It may begin with a feeling, but we must consciously choose to love another if there is to be any hope of that feeling growing into something more. And when we choose to love someone, it cannot be conditional. We can't choose to love someone based upon our circumstances, or what happens in the world. We can't choose to love parts or portions of an individual or choose to withhold our love when we think the person is undeserving. To do so is a sign of jealousy, fear, and selfishness. These are the antithesis of love. True love must be selfless.

To truly love someone is the greatest of all sacrifices because when we choose to, we remove our wants, our desires and our needs from the equation and instead choose to put someone else ahead of ourselves. Love can hurt though. It can wound us in such a way as nothing else can. It can come with such a high cost that some wonder if it is worth it.  I can tell you from experience that it is. Even with its cost, love will always be worth it.  Indeed, it is probably the only thing that ever was.

So when you choose to love someone, know what your undertaking. Know the risks, and the costs. Know what love entails. And then do it anyway. After all, as they say, "Love is what makes the world go round."

A Thought on Living Without Fear

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” –Theodore Roosevelt

 It is said that of all the words in all the tongues of men, that saddest are those of “it might have been.” Often times in life, our fear of what could happen or how we could fail overcomes our desire to progress and we are left utterly paralyzed in inaction. As we watch the world pass us by, we utter a wish for more courage and bravery. But there must come a moment when we rise above our fear. We must make our wish reality. We must cast off the chains of self doubt and worry and rise toward the light so that we may have our day in the sun.

The greatest enemy we will ever face is that voice inside each of us that tells us that we will never be good enough. It tells us that we are weak and unworthy of achieving that which we desire. I tell you here and now that that voice lies. The greatest gift that God has given us is the free will and the ability to choose who we are and who we will become. Each and every day that we rise we are faced with a choice: do we cower and live in fear while our lives pass us by, or do we dare greatly, pursuing the dreams that we hold so dear? Even if we fail, we fail with the knowledge that we tried, that we gave our very best, and that at the very least we made a valiant effort toward a goal worth fighting for. Even in that failure, there is experience gained. Even in that failure, hope, the greatest and most essential of all human conditions, remains. And with that hope, remains the possibility of redemption.

My friends, we have but one life to live. May we live it well, without regret or fear. May we live it in such a way that at the end, when we stand before the Almighty and are asked to account for our time here on this earth, we can reply that we lived each moment with the courage to pursue the desires of our hearts, that we held on to the hope of a better tomorrow, and that we sought the goodness in the world. May we say that we lived our lives intentionally and with purpose.

A Thought On This Day.

On this day, a national tragedy occurred. Thousands of innocent lives were taken away in the blink of an instant.

On this day, America was hurt. We as a nation mourned the loss of so many lives to such a senseless act of violence. We joined the ranks of those touched by the hatred and darkness of terrorism.

On this day, we saw so many families destroyed. Children said goodbye to a mommy or daddy who wouldn’t be coming home. Husbands and wives kissed each other for the last time. Brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, friends, said a goodbye that none expected to be their last.

On this day, we were angry; angry at those that hurt us, angry and those who could have prevented it. Perhaps we were even angry at ourselves for not preparing for such a tragedy.

But, on this day, we learned what true sacrifice was. We learned what forgiveness was too. We learned what it meant to be the UNITED States of America, something we had perhaps forgotten. We remembered what it was to be proud. We remembered that our true strength lies not in arms or armaments, but in our capacity for compassion, and love for our fellow man.

On this day, we were reminded how precious our time on this Earth really is. We were reminded that no tomorrow is ever guaranteed. We once again learned to focus on what matters most.

On this day, we remember 343 of the Bravest, 8 of the Best, and 60 of the Finest. They will forever remain in our hearts and our memories. Their sacrifice will always serve as a testament to the eternal truth that love, courage, and a hope in the goodness of man will always triumph over any evil.

On this day, we reflect on who we were, and who we’ve become.

On this day, we resolve to never forget.

On this day, we remember.  

A Thought on the What Matters Most

Every once in a while, life puts us in circumstances that force us to reflect on our own mortality. We think on those things which mean the most to us. I always find it interesting that more often than not these thoughts almost always focus on the people in our lives. Well, perhaps not necessarily in our lives, but those who have touched our lives, whether they are still with us or not. Sometimes they are good memories; Christmases, birthdays, or other holidays, dinners, parties, and celebrations, quiet moments spent in a warm embrace, or long philosophical talks on the problems or the world. Sometimes they are just memories of singing at the top of your lungs on a long car ride with someone. Other times they are thoughts of regret; missed opportunities or connections, loss, grief, or thoughts of “what could have been.” But even these moments give us insight into ourselves and who we’ve become. They are a testament to the lives that we’ve built. They offer sufficient proof that we cared enough about something or someone to love and miss them. And that is a beautiful thing.

It is in these moments of thorough introspection that we reflect on the times which have had the most impact upon our hearts, our minds, and on who we’ve become as a person. When I reflect on the memories which matter most to me, I realize that in the moment they were created, I almost always failed to appreciate how much they would matter to me down the road. Of all the expensive vacations, the adrenaline filled adventures, the fun filled parties, or the thrilling nights on the town, the moments that stick with me are the quiet times when I truly connected with someone. Sometimes it is these unobtrusive, seemingly ordinary events that have the largest impact upon us, and most of the time we don’t even realize it at the time. I guess what I’m getting at is this: life is not about making the most money, or having the coolest, most expensive things, it isn’t about the dream job, or the house on a hill, most of the time it’s not even about impacting the world. Life is about loving people. It’s about embracing them and connecting with them. It’s about engaging them. It’s about creating memories. Make time for those people in your life. Make time for those tiny, little moments that you may not think matter, because I guarantee you that they will someday, and more often than not, that realization comes too late.  We are all granted a very finite amount of time on this earth and few, if any, of us know just how long that time is. Just recognize that and embrace those people who matter the most, whoever they are. And don’t forget to tell them how you feel about them. We all forget to do that far too often. And it truly matters. Trust me on that one.

What Matters Most

A Thought on When the World Seems Dark

Regret is the mourning of the loss of possibility. But our deepest regrets come when we are forced by time or circumstance to give up on something or perhaps someone we love when every fiber of our being tells us that this is the fight worth fighting. Perhaps these moments are the ones meant to try us. Perhaps they are meant to teach us. Perhaps they are meant to inspire us to grow. Regardless of their purpose they are the times when the world seems so colorless so dark, and so devoid of hope. But I promise you that light still remains. It is constantly emitted from the embers of our souls, and that light, no matter how dark the world becomes, can never go out. Take comfort in knowing that no matter how hard the moment may seem, you are strong enough to bear the burdens that you have been called to bear. You are where you are meant to be. Each life has a purpose and is precious. Every soul will find its worth.  You are loved for who you are, who you were, and who you have yet to become.

A Thought on the Superhero

Ever wonder why we all love superhero movies? I think it’s because superhero movies remind us of how we wish we could be. In most movies they have a weakness that they must over come, and that's what makes them so great. They remind us that if we try hard enough, if we stand for what’s good, if we endure and fight with every fiber of our being for what’s right, then maybe we can overcome our weaknesses and then change the world.  

Sometimes we humans need something to hang on to. Sometimes we need a symbol to rally around or a cause to support. Sometimes we need something to place our faith in, something to hope for, something to hope in. And sometimes, we have to be that hope for someone else. Sometimes we have to face our fears and throw off the darkness that enshrouds us so that our own inner light can shine forth and be the beacon that points the direction for others. And as scary as that is, as hard as that may be, sometimes that’s what is required of us. Sometimes that is what we are meant to do. Sometimes that’s our destiny. Sometimes we can be the superhero just by inspiring those around us. So if there’s someone in your life that needs that hope, be that beacon for them. Show them what’s right. Inspire them! Be their hope, because if you won’t who else do they have?

A Thought on the People in Our Lives

I ran across a few quotes this evening that got me thinking. Judy Garland once said "Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else." And while I think there’s some truth to that, I think we also have to acknowledge the profound impact those in our lives have on who we are. And that brings me to the second quote. This one is by Flavia Weedn. "Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same."

We may be the sum total of our experiences, but a huge ingredient to that whole package is who we choose to associate with. As I get older and more and more people come into my life, and some leave, this becomes all the more apparent. For example, our value systems, our beliefs, even our prejudices are defined or at least influenced by our friends and family. The same goes for our language, culture, and the food we eat. We even pick up catch phrases and mannerisms from our loved ones.  We become a melting pot of what we deem to be the greatest qualities of those in our lives in order to become the best version of who we want to be. That is the purpose of our loved ones: to help us grow.

There was someone who was in my life for a while and then, sadly, had to leave. And I’m still coming to terms with that. I’ve wished, and hoped, and prayed to find my way back to her but sometimes people just aren’t meant to stay in our lives. At first I tried to cut out all the experiences and memories we had made together, and while that helped with the sadness, all the happiness was gone to. And the happiness far outweighed the sadness. The bottom line is, that that wasn’t the right way to do it. Instead, I’ve become thankful for all those times and I’ve come to realize that she helped me become who I am today. I’ve always hated change, but I suppose that is what life is about; growth, and change. And when you get right down to it, that is a beautiful thing.

A Thought on the Good

What if I told you that everything is going to be ok? What if I told you that in spite of your fears, your doubts, and you worries, everything was going to work out? What if I told you that you will get through the trials you face? Because the truth is, you will. Everything is going to be ok.  That I promise you.

There are no guarantees in this life except this: it goes on. No one makes it through without scrapes and bruises and some of us wind up with some pretty traumatic injuries, but that’s ok. It’s just a part of living, of being alive. That is the price of experiencing what it’s like to live on this earth, to feel all of the joy and the happiness, all of the love and the hope and yes every once in a while, the pain and sorrow. And it’s such a small price to pay!

Whatever trials you facing, I promise you this: they are only temporary. They won’t last forever. In the end, good always wins out. The light will always triumph over the darkness, love will always defeat hate, and freedom will always overcome oppression. A lot of people see the world as a dark and dreary place, filled with poverty, and violence, and hate. But in reality, the world is a place filled with hope. The human race’s propensity for good is so incredibly immense compared to the bad. Even in the darkest, dreariest moments of our history, we find examples of good, honest people doing what’s right simply because it’s the right thing to do, with no though or expectation of reward. Take solace in that fact. Take solace in the fact that we live in a world where absolutely anything is possible. Take solace in the fact that you are a good person. Take solace in the face that tomorrow is a new day, free from the worries and cares of today. I know your weary and downtrodden, and that’s ok. Rest up this night and rise again tomorrow. A new dawn, filled with hope, beckons. Rest easy.

A Thought on Evil

One of the greatest philosophical battles of all time centers on the belief in a good and just God in the context of all the evil that exists in this world. In every day life, this problem manifests itself in questions like "Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?" or "Why does God hate me?" Thousands of philosophers, theists, believers, atheists and everyday folk have argued over this question for as long as man has doubted the belief in a higher power. Most of the arguments for God center on a belief in free will or that God allows evil to exist because without evil good could not exist. Other arguments deny a belief in true evil or say that perhaps God is not able to create a world where no evil existed. While I tend to support the Free Will defense, I have decided that I believe in an alternative view. Perhaps its not evil that matters so much, but rather our reaction to it.

The power that evil possesses is a product of the fear that we as humans exhibit. When we rise above the fear, evil loses its power. That’s not to discount pain, and suffering, anguish, and grief, agony, and sorrow, because surely these things exist. We have all experienced them in one way or another. But rather the point is to recognize that these feelings are simply emotions and tactile reactions to a hostile world. When we remember that, they can be endured, overcome. We can rise above the pain. We are strengthened, lifted up. We can fly free, even in captivity. When we reach the point that we can exhibit selfless, celestial grace unfeigned, when we can forgive without thought to retribution, revenge or compensation, when we can let go of our hatred and our selfish, misguided sense of justice, when we can exhibit the tender mercy of God through our every thought and action, then evil ceases to matter and the battle is won. I think that’s the point that most people in this debate miss. Evil is not an end in itself, but rather a challenge to be overcome.

A Thought on Attitude

Each of us will face difficulties in our life. We will have trials and obstacles to overcome. We will experience defeat and we will suffer and bleed and eventually die. We will feel pain and sadness, misery and sorrow. We will lose loved ones and experience loss and grief. Very few of us are immune to the evils of this world, but as certain as I am that we will face these challenges, I am equally as certain that we are naturally endowed with the strength to overcome them. One of the tools that we are provided with for this task is the ability to control our attitude and how we react to whatever life throws at us.

 One of our tasks as individuals is to make meaning in our own lives. No one else can do that for us. And while I believe we are the product of our experiences, we are also defined in part by our reactions to those experiences in the first place. For example, a basketball player may attend grueling practices every day in preparation for a game. His coach may push him and make him run and do all sorts of painful exercises, hoping to strengthen him. The player may work hard, and at the end of each practice be so sore that he can hardly move. An outsider who doesn’t’ understand why the player does this might say “This is horrible. He’s in pain! This is torture. That coach should be imprisoned for inflicting such evil on that poor soul!”While the basketball player understands why he is being pushed and accepts that if he endures these hardships, he will do better in the game to come.

 Perhaps no better definition of this principal exists than that penned by Viktor Frankl:

“We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: The last of his freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

 And so it is with life. If we believe that the hardships we face are designed to make us better individuals, then the evils we face are diminished, until such as time as we don’t see them as evil anymore, but rather trials and exercises in faith. So the next time challenges are on your horizon, see them for what they truly are: opportunities to grow. Go out and meet them head on. Embrace them with a thankful heart and a determination worthy of the champion inside of you! Good luck!

A Thought on Wishes

I was recently discussing future plans with a friend and I made the comment: “I wish.” She said “Nope, it's not a wish or it always will be. It's got to be a plan.” While I think there’s some truth to that statement, I think she misunderstood my definition of a wish. A lot of people say “I wish…” sarcastically, as a remark when the possibility of accomplishing whatever task they are talking about is so remote, that it is out of the likelihood of possibility. But I disagree. I think that a wish is a hope for something better and there is a quiet power in that kind of hope. That kind of power is within all of us. It enables us to perform miracles and overcome difficult circumstances to accomplish our hopes and dreams. When we tap into it, we are strengthened and uplifted. It helps us to reach our greatest potential.

In a famous Disney song, it is said that “a dream is a wish your heart makes.” Could you think of a more honest and intimate manifestation of our desires? On the outside, we censor ourselves. We deny ourselves happiness. But when we hope, dream, and wish, we open ourselves to our truest, rawest, and deepest selves. We open ourselves to the possibility of finding true happiness. And that is a beautiful thing. So go wish on a star, or cast a penny into the water. Take the chance of changing your outlook. You never know what dreams might come true.

A Thought on New Year's.

New Year’s, contrary to what those closest to me think, is actually my favorite holiday. It is a day dedicated to the notion of Hope. Hope. It’s such a simple concept and yet it is at the same time, so complex and so powerful. It is said, that with Hope, all things are possible. I believe in that statement, because at the end of the day, even through Life’s greatest struggles, if we can hold on to Hope, we can endure. We can climb back out of the deepest, darkest places in our lives and rise again, stronger than ever before.

I find it fitting that New Year’s is both a celebration of the New as well as the Old. One cannot exist without the other. As we reflect on our past, we prepare for our future. Just as each practice prepares an athlete for the next competition, each moment in our life prepares us for the next and for all those to come.

 Today is a new day; a day to start things off right, a day to change our stars. But it is also a day to remember those that we’ve lost, and to pay homage to their memories. It is a day to learn from our past mistakes and to reflect on the lessons that life has taught us.  It is a time for us to have a new beginning, a new start, a new and clean slate. It is a time to start over. New Years is a chance for redemption, and that is the greatest gift of all.

 This New Year’s I hope that you remember what this time is about. Take the chance to start over. Take the chance to do good in the world. We need more of it. Be someone’s miracle or dream come true. Grant a wish.  Love someone. Be a light in a world so often filled with despair, and turmoil, and darkness. In the words of John Rzeznik, “Tonight’s the night the world begins again.”  So wherever you find yourself this New Year’s, I wish you a happy and hope filled New Year. May 2013 be better than ever before.