A Thought on Wishes

I was recently discussing future plans with a friend and I made the comment: “I wish.” She said “Nope, it's not a wish or it always will be. It's got to be a plan.” While I think there’s some truth to that statement, I think she misunderstood my definition of a wish. A lot of people say “I wish…” sarcastically, as a remark when the possibility of accomplishing whatever task they are talking about is so remote, that it is out of the likelihood of possibility. But I disagree. I think that a wish is a hope for something better and there is a quiet power in that kind of hope. That kind of power is within all of us. It enables us to perform miracles and overcome difficult circumstances to accomplish our hopes and dreams. When we tap into it, we are strengthened and uplifted. It helps us to reach our greatest potential.

In a famous Disney song, it is said that “a dream is a wish your heart makes.” Could you think of a more honest and intimate manifestation of our desires? On the outside, we censor ourselves. We deny ourselves happiness. But when we hope, dream, and wish, we open ourselves to our truest, rawest, and deepest selves. We open ourselves to the possibility of finding true happiness. And that is a beautiful thing. So go wish on a star, or cast a penny into the water. Take the chance of changing your outlook. You never know what dreams might come true.

A Thought on New Year's.

New Year’s, contrary to what those closest to me think, is actually my favorite holiday. It is a day dedicated to the notion of Hope. Hope. It’s such a simple concept and yet it is at the same time, so complex and so powerful. It is said, that with Hope, all things are possible. I believe in that statement, because at the end of the day, even through Life’s greatest struggles, if we can hold on to Hope, we can endure. We can climb back out of the deepest, darkest places in our lives and rise again, stronger than ever before.

I find it fitting that New Year’s is both a celebration of the New as well as the Old. One cannot exist without the other. As we reflect on our past, we prepare for our future. Just as each practice prepares an athlete for the next competition, each moment in our life prepares us for the next and for all those to come.

 Today is a new day; a day to start things off right, a day to change our stars. But it is also a day to remember those that we’ve lost, and to pay homage to their memories. It is a day to learn from our past mistakes and to reflect on the lessons that life has taught us.  It is a time for us to have a new beginning, a new start, a new and clean slate. It is a time to start over. New Years is a chance for redemption, and that is the greatest gift of all.

 This New Year’s I hope that you remember what this time is about. Take the chance to start over. Take the chance to do good in the world. We need more of it. Be someone’s miracle or dream come true. Grant a wish.  Love someone. Be a light in a world so often filled with despair, and turmoil, and darkness. In the words of John Rzeznik, “Tonight’s the night the world begins again.”  So wherever you find yourself this New Year’s, I wish you a happy and hope filled New Year. May 2013 be better than ever before.

A Thought on Kindness

This past Sunday I was taught a lesson that I had been taught before, but it was as lesson that I often forget. This particular teacher approached his lesson with a bit more creativity than past teachers of this principal had and his lesson will forever remain with me. The principal was kindness. What he sought to illustrate was that when we are kind and we lend a helping hand, not only are the beneficiaries of our kindness aided, but our own lives are enriched.

To illustrate his point the teacher asked for a volunteer. A young man volunteered and joined the teacher in the front of the room. The teacher removed his tie and proceeded to blindfold the young man. He then placed a small piece of chalk in one corner of the room. The young man was tasked with finding this incredibly tiny piece of chalk and we, the audience, were instructed that we could in no way help him. The young man proceeded to get down on his hands and knees and attempted to find the chalk. He crawled all over the room, running his hands over the carpet, reaching under chairs and furniture. As he searched, you could see the effort the ordeal was having on the man. He began to sweat as he moved back and forth. Still, he could not find the chalk. Minutes passed by. Eventually, the instructor told us that now we could help the man. We yelled and shouted and directed him to the piece of chalk in just a few short seconds. The task had been so much easier for the man when we helped him.  Watching the man crawl around on the floor and being unable to help him, even with this simple task was hard for me.  How easy it would have been just to tell him where the chalk was to begin with! I could have spared him all the effort and time that he had spent crawling around the room on his hands and knees. And so it is with life. How often do we let times go by that we could have done a service to our fellow man? How often do we fail to help lift the burdens of those around us when it would have been so easy for us to have made a difference in their lives? I know we can do better. There is nothing so important in this life as kindness, charity, and love. These attributes are what lead to a content and accomplished life. So the next time you see someone struggling, or that could use a little help, choose to make a difference. Choose to be kind. You never know when you might be exactly what that person needs.

A thought on Hereos

On this day of all days, our hearts and minds turn to those that selflessly give of themselves each and every day to protect us. They stand between the innocent of the world and those circumstances and situations that would threaten lives and property. They are found without exception in each village, town, city and metropolis all over the country. They miss meals, sleep, anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and time with family all for the good of the public. You will find them, without complaint, in the harshest of weather, serving under impossible circumstances just so you and I can sleep soundly at night. They are ordinary citizens doing extraordinary things because they have made the decision to dedicate their lives to doing good. They are brave and courageous. They are efficient and highly trained. They are dedicated to the principals of honor and duty above all.  They do not ask for anything more than our respect and a quiet thank you for the service that they give. They love their families and their jobs and the men and women that stand beside them. If it is required, they will exchange their life for yours or mine without hesitation.  Theirs is the greatest love of all. They are our police officers, our firefighters, our EMTs and paramedics, and our soldiers. They are our heroes.  Today, we thank you all. Thank you for serving us, for putting your lives on the line for us. Thank you for inspiring us to be better. Thank you for making us proud. Thank you for being the best of the United States of America. To the families of the fallen, please take comfort in knowing your loved one’s service and sacrifice was not in vain. They worked to save lives. There is no greater calling. Their spirit is truly what makes America great.  Thank you for their service.

"In valor, there is hope."

A thought on Ethics.

There are moments in life when each of us is presented with choices to make. Sometimes these choices are easy, and sometimes they are difficult. I have always dedicated my life to trying to make the right choices as I see them. You see, I have patterned my life on a set of moral values and ethics that my upbringing and experiences have imparted in me, and for me the world is a very black and white place or at least most of the time it is. But as I get older, it seems to me that there are far more areas of differing shades of grey than I once believed. So how do we deal with those choices:  the choices where no action is one hundred percent morally or ethically right and yet the choice still needs to be made? What then?

The answer is sometimes there is no right answer. Sometimes there really are no win situations.  To some, this might seem like a pessimistic approach, but I disagree. I believe that if we acknowledge that fact, we can move on to facing whatever obstacle or challenge awaits us as a result of our choice. The key here is simply that you have to make the choice that you can live with. At the end of the day, whatever moral code or guiding principles that you subscribe to has to be satisfied. Otherwise, you will destroy yourself. There is a scene from one of my favorite TV shows that illustrates my point.  The hero is lying badly injured and perhaps dying in a hospital bed after undergoing immense hardship in order to save a major city from sure destruction. To do so, he has had to break many laws and do things that most of us would find, at the very least, unethical. However, there is still a threat out there that could potentially threaten the lives of the city’s inhabitants. The hero’s partner knows that she can stop the threat, but she will similarly have to disregard some of the same laws and rules that the hero has in order to do so. As he lays there she approaches him and asks his advice.

“ Hero: I can’t tell you what to do. I’ve been wrestling with this all my life. When I see fifteen people held hostage on a bus, everything else goes out the window, and I’ll do whatever it takes to save them and I mean whatever it takes. You know, maybe I thought, if I save them, I can save myself.”

Partner:  “Do you regret anything that you did today?”

Hero: “No. But then again, I don’t work for the FBI.”

Partner:” I don’t understand.”

Hero: “You took an oath. You made a promise to uphold the law. You cross that line, it always starts off with a small step. Before you know it, you’re running as fast as you can in the wrong direction just to justify why you started in the first place. These laws were written by much smarter men than me. And in the end, I know that these laws have to be more important than the fifteen people on the bus, I know that’s right. In my mind, I know that’s right. But I just don’t think my heart could ever have lived with that. I guess the only advice I can give you is try to make choices that you can live with.”

So folks, that’s my advice to you. Life can be difficult and eventually, we will all be faced with what seems to be an impossible situation. When no choice seems right, make the choice that is you can live with and have faith. We all have been granted the knowledge of right and wrong. We all have been given our agency to make whatever choices we choose.  But in the end, we all have to live with ourselves and God. Make sure that no matter what, when you look in the mirror, you can look yourself in the eye with self-respect, and dignity, and that on that final day, you will be able to say “I did the best that I could.”

A thought on Freedom

The United States of America: Land of the free, and the home of the brave. Two Hundred and thirty six years ago a group of men signed a document that would change the course of the world: The Declaration of Independence. In my opinion, there are perhaps no greater words  ever penned than these:  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among them are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. “ In those few words, those men ushered in a new era.  Until that moment, no nation had ever been founded upon principals of personal liberty, equality and freedom.  From its inception, America was created to be an example of what moral, honorable people could do when they built their lives on principals of fairness, honesty, truth, and justice.

Today, so many years later, what have we become? Our lives are so caught up in pop culture, fashion, money, gossip, sports, and the lives of celebrities. What have we done with the freedom that we’ve been blessed with? What happened to the America that used to exist? When did we stop dedicating ourselves to virtue, morals, integrity, honor, and freedom?  Every day the headlines are filled with the latest scandal involving some politician and his indiscretion, or some top CEO violating his sacred marital commitments, or some mass murderer continuing on his killing spree. What have we come to?  And yet, in spite of all our flaws, we are still free.  Thousands of men and women still stand up, fight, and sometimes die so that we can have our freedom.  Think about it. How do you honor their sacrifice?

Starting today, I know how I’m going to honor them. I’m going to be a part of America that deserves that freedom.  Starting today, I pledge my allegiance to the United States of America. I pledge myself to upholding the ideals imbedded in the Constitution. I pledge myself to working to make America as strong as ever. I pledge to make this America a nation not of liars and greed, but of philanthropists, volunteers, and humanitarians. I pledge myself to the American Cause. I pledge that my actions will always exhibit truth, honor, integrity, and virtue because I am an American, not in spite of it. 

Today is the Fourth of July, Independence Day.  On this day I would ask that anyone who reads this to reflect on the blessing that has been bestowed upon them to have the opportunity to call such a marvelous place home. Please remember our troops, who sacrifice so much for our freedom. Keep them in your prayers. I would also ask that you pray for our leaders, regardless of whether you believe in their policies or not, they need our support.  We are a nation of good. Let us remind the world how good we can be.

A thought on happiness.

Happiness. Not even the Fountain of Youth, the Holy Grail, or El Dorado is more often sought after. And yet, for some, it seems so elusive. Why is that? Why is it so hard to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, "I'm happy?" A lot of people think that we are entitled to happiness, especially here in the United States. I think that might be part of the problem, this sense of entitlement that is. No one ever promised happiness. The only guarantee we've ever been given is that no matter what, we are entitled to the pursuit of happiness. That's an interesting phrase isn't it: the pursuit of happiness? Our forefathers were wise when they first penned those words. I think they realized that happiness is not something freely given, but rather earned and they also realized that some wouldn't be willing to put in the effort to find it. Our country was founded on the belief that hard work and sacrifice is often necessary. Sometimes we have to put things ahead of our own wants and needs. Unfortunately I think that that principal has fallen on deaf ears when it comes to a lot of my own generation. A lot of people also believe that happiness is equal to the amount of money and stuff one can acquire. Realistically, I can say, that I do enjoy being able to go out to dinner, or to go rent a movie, but I don't think that's where true happiness comes from. Those things are just the icing on the proverbial cake. No, I think that true happiness can be found in the sense of purpose and service we find in our lives, in the relationships we enjoy, and in the small, quiet moments away from this loud and crazed world. Some of the happiest people I've known in my life were the quietest, most unimposing people. They been through good times and bad times, they'd lost loved ones, they'd endured hardships, but there were also four qualities that they all exhibited that I think are the true secrets to happiness. First, it seems to me that they'd lost themselves in the service of their fellow man. I guess what I mean is, they'd given up a portion of themselves in order to serve others: their time, money, or effort. Have you ever seen someone doing selfless service for another angrily? It seems almost impossible to me. The second quality that unites them is their family lives. One friend of mine goes home to his wife and dog each night in a small, rundown, one bedroom studio in a crime ridden part of the city. It’s kind of a bleak picture, not one that screams success. But every time he walks in that door, he has a smile on his face. He doesn't have the nicest car, or the latest electronic gadgets, or even a cell phone, but he has a wife who loves him dearly and a dog that thinks he walks on water. That is what makes him happy. Another man that I've always considered one of the happiest men I know is a small, unimposing man that works as a general handyman/plumber. Each day he comes home streaked with sweat, tired, dirty, and worn out, but he knows he's put in a good, honest day and that his wife and children will be waiting for him. He also has never failed to answer the call of those in need. His small, older home is always open to someone who needs a meal, or a place to stay. His heart breaks to see someone in need. He might not be the most successful, or the richest, but he is one of the happiest. The third quality they share is character. By this I mean they have committed themselves to upholding their morals, virtues, and ideals, no matter what. When you make that choice, the rest of life's choices become easy. They have decided to live their lives in such a way that at the end of the day, they can live with themselves. Nothing breeds unhappiness like a troubled conscious. It nags at you on and on until it either destroys you, or you right it. The last quality that they all exhibit is hope. Hope in faith, hope in themselves and their families, and hope in the world. Happy people are not cynics, or pessimists. They see the good in people. Each and every person you meet is fighting his or her own battles and undergoing their own struggles. When you see that, you see who they really are and why they act the way they do. When that happens, you can love them instead of getting angry or upset. So here's what it all boils down to: if you’re feeling unhappy, go find your wife/girlfriend, or your husband/boyfriend, or a sibling, or maybe mom and dad, and just give them a hug. The next time an argument springs up, remind yourself that whatever you’re arguing about probably isn't that important in the long run. Go out and make someone’s life better. Pay for the guy behind you's dinner, hold the door open for someone, stop and pick up the trash that someone left, whatever it is, serve your fellow man. Make up your mind about what you believe and stick to it, no matter what. Always try and make the choice that you can live with. After all, at the end of the day, the only person you have to answer to is yourself and God. Lastly, try and see the good in the world. Even with all its downfalls, good is out there. Just go out and find it! Try and do these things without a smile, I dare you!